Editors Note:  Feel free to leave how clash royale impacted your life down in the comments. I am genuinely interested if anyone else feels that clash royale has an impact for them This is the clash royale story about me. All “boasting” if for ironic and story telling purposes.  No adjectives are meant to be egotistical.  Enjoy.

 

The war was deadly.  Thousands of ruined buildings and a hundreds of thousands of troops have littered the battlefield.  Each battle only lasted a few minutes but every battle for 2500 battles I have sent troops to their death to achieve nothing but complete victory.  I have entered the war as an and alien, and unknown.  As I climbed the ranked I have gotten recognition, as far as being praised by the elites.  For I get to know these elite players, understand them, and the humiliate them for I am the serpent beneath the flower. Others don’t see it as I do.  What I see as the ongoing struggle that will never end in peace. Others see as a childish game.  A game called Clash Royale.

When I first started this game, I was unaware of how far it would take me and what I would do with my skills.  I wasn’t even suppose to be able to play the game as it wasn’t in the US app store.  Just like all the players I would eventually face, I beat the system.  I said I lived in Canada- posing my house as a McDonald’s shop in Toronto, Canada. Once I breached the systems, I started making my name known.

I grinded through the ranks with trial and error of many different deck combinations.  I had to be resilient, for every deck had a counter, and every month the strength of each card changed. I was competing with people who have spent hundreds of dollars each week to get the best cards. With the only reasonable budget of $0.00, I dreamed of competing against the top players in the world.  Within a few months of playing, I reached the highest point I would ever be, the top 10,000 in North America, the top 1% at the time.  The game now has 120,000,000 recruits.  While being in the most honorable and distinguished group of soldiers, I have crushed some of the most well known youtubers.  Two of my humiliated puppets include “Godson” who now has  2.2 million subscribers, and Galladon who now has 1.4 million subscribers.  My skill in the art of tactical troop deployment and expertise in elixir counting has beaten their empty wallets.

In addition to defeating 99% of people who played the game, I went even further.  I dreamed of being in the #1 clan in the world without spending a cent.  I slowly climber the ladder.  Because I was unknown at the time, I joined nobody clans, clans that were made for groups of friends.  Once I started to defeat my foes without needing a single braincell, I started to get into more notable clans. I first the clans that were the top 200 in North America.  Once I started to get recognized, I started to infiltrate the world leaderboards.  I started my global ascend at rank 192.  Slowly but surely as I climbed in rank. I clan hopped; I never expecting to stay in a clan for long and leaving right when I got a better offer.    I started to get in clans of value, either owned by people who played video games for a living or by people who have invested thousands into leveling their troops.  I started to jump clans fairly quickly: first 153, then 74, 42, 31, 22, and then 7.  At clan level 7 as I was with some of the most famous Clash Royale players.  Eventually I climbed high enough to achieve the title of being in the number one ranked clan in the world, InTheLight. Once I got a taste of the top, I wanted to achieve even more.

I started to branch out into privately held online tournaments, although restricted because I only wanted to dedicate myself to a most an hour at a time.  This made me ineligible to show my tactical expertise in most known tournaments.  However, I decided to join a smaller tournament with a prize of $20.  With exquisite execution and unparalleled  intellect, I defeated each opponent expertly and seamlessly. I ended the tournament with 11 wins, 0 loses, and $20 richer.  With my perfect performance, humbling my opponents was easier than taking candy from a baby.

After winning the tournament, I wondered what my next feats should be.  I decided to go for a world record.  Because of how unskilled everyone is compared to me, I decided to spawn the most of one troop, the lava hound, in one game.  Only taking a few days, I was able to manage to break the world record of 22 lava hounds.  Leaving my mark on the Clash Royale with this unbeatable mark of triumph, I decided to hibernate and let some mortal players have a chance of glory.

Where am I now?  I lay await in my dark lair only seeing sunlight when the curtains are dashed away from my windows.  I get  to write deck guides for measly members of this game who need the easy way out.  I write the articles you live and breath only hoping to get halfway as far as I did.  I nail my wisdom onto the boards of SUPERCELL only so players can get spoonfed my knowledge.